Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the boy laughing? Because

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Who hacks darts? • Jack Nolan aka Bowlbot 300 J-Bowls

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a bunch of black guys on mars? a problem What do you call 1 million black guys on mars? a bigger problem What do you call all the black guys on mars? a solution

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is more worse than death? Death

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops