One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

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What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

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A blonde walks into a bar. Shes now in a coma.

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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Youre mom is so dead...

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what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

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You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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What do you get when you jump into the Red Sea? Wet.

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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How do you get an alien baby to sleep? Well, first you need to get an alien baby.

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -a black man that left his family

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Too bad, because UNTIL YOUR FUCKING "POWER OF HUMAN KIND" CAN SUMMON UP A FUCKING EYEBALL! NOTHING WILL MAKE UP FOR THIS SHIT! "Oh, my the good old phonebook, I will... Now... try... to... seduce... you... with... my... "goodness" As far as "oh I know where you live", well nobody here is hiding fagface! So you come out of your "darkness or shadows or whatever" and let me stab out both your fucking eyes! And we are STILL NOT GOOD! And yeah, have your faggots stop calling themselves Nero.

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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