- Anti Joke

Your moms so stupid that she called me to get my number

A guy watches a porno. When it is over, he said; "Wow, that was deep"

Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

Why did the loser end up in hospital? Because he was smoking glue.

Why did the frog cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

Roses are red violets are blue, I more do like pink like the holes are in you.

Have you tried Ethiopian food? -no -well it's really good

If a blonde and a brunette are both falling out of a building, which one will hit the ground first? The brunette, she jumped first.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

What did the teacher do? He taught.

Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

What was the only animal to not board the ark in pairs? Loads of animals because it didn't happen.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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