Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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how do demolish a building alkekwhakbar

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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Are you gay? No. Ok.

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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What's worse than walking into a lampost? Your seven year old child accidentally finding and watching a sex tape that you made years ago.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

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How do you confuse a blond? Look at her

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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What's liquid, clear, and tastes like water? H20

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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what does chicken and triceratops have in common both their jokes are anti-climatic, from lack of punchline

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops