What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

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Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

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What's funnier than slapping a girl? Calling the cops on the person who slapped her.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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a ab

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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hey, my names mark.

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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A rapist walks into a bar. He is promptly arrested afterwards.

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why did the black guy talk to the monkey? they were in the same cage.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

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How do you make someone laugh at a funeral? Laughing gas How do you make someone cry at a birthday party? Tear gas How do you make someone high at a wedding? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - There are many ways to get high in a wedding. Gas is not the only option.

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Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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