"Knock knock..." "come in"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your roommate, I forgot my keys.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You might be a redneck if you're from a rural area and behave as such.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

if 5+5=10 then 7+9=52

thumb_up thumb_down -19

who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The chicken crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why was the monster truck late to the rally.. because it had no driver

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what is brown and sticky? a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's Black

thumb_up thumb_down -19

It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the black girl happy? She got a raise.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

oh, you have a baby on board? I'll just drive into the the car next to you...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: If you see a gipsy drowning, what will you throw him?! A: His family.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops