What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Damn

thumb_up thumb_down -17

a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many black babies fit in a garbage can? It depends on the capacity of the garbage can.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats Bin Laden's favorite store 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you do when life throws lemons at you? Take out your lemon shield and retreat deep into your lemon proof bunker.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walked into a bar, and clutched his stomach in pain as it was a steel bar and it hurts when you walk right into a steel bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse then the Boston bombing? The Texas bombing, considering Texas is a much bigger region then Boston.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Jew walks on his way to work. He does not notice the quarter lying on the sidewalk and did not care for the dollar lying on the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Black guy something something. Anti-racist punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a man in Afghanistan? Either a scuicide bomber a soldier or a tep

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops