How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Kevin. Which? Kevin Smith or Kevin Johnson? Kevin Johnson. Oh ok, come in please.

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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A blonde walks into a bar. Shes now in a coma.

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What do you call a black priest? a priest, you racist

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1 + 1 ? Hmm, I don't know, maybe 2 but I could be wrong.

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There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

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darude- sandstorm

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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My Muslim friend is always late to everything. We call him 9/12.

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There's 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving. Probably one of the 2 men.

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why was the boy crying he had cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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sweating like antoni with a girl

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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~Roses Are Red~ ~Violets Are Blue~ ~I Am Straight~ ~Not Sure About You~ ~Tell us?~

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops