Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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Your life

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

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Your mom's so dumb she has cancer...... oh wait that's racist

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Coldpaly is a good band

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What's short and weak and has no life..........a Jordan pederson!

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the top 6 dictators who have died this year Moammar Gadhafi Kim Jong IL Osama bin ladden Saddam Husein Steve jobs Internet Explorer

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What did the Muslim do on 911? He weeped for the loss of his many good friends and relatives

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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Take wrong turns

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

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a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

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What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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