Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man walked into a bar, he then fell to the ground screaming in pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

thumb_up thumb_down +21

a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Three people walk into a bar. Eight people follow them. They all go back to Bob's house, except Anna, Jimmy, and Joe. TImes the amount of people going to Bob's house by four. Thats how many people get arrested at the end of the night. How many people aren't arrested? Do you even know why you read this? Get a life and go to an actual bar, a party and get arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

FIRE!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

To be honest that sounds like more of a mental health issue and not something I'm qualified to deal with as a GP. Let me refer you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has insomnia.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have a gun BANG!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops