roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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34

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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Yee

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what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

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Obama 2012

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What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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A Horse walks into a bar and the barman says 'What with the long face?' and the horse replys 'i'm a f*cking horse.'

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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If Barbie is so popular...why do you have to buy her friends?

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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