A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Why didn't little jimmy get anything for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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Pickup Line: Hay girl is that a mirror in your pants. Becuase I can see me in it.

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why is billy g is really supid because he gets bad grades

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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well it rained all night the day i left, the weather it was dry, i can't remember the words but susana don't you cry oh susana don't you cry for me for i come from alabama with a banjo on my knee oh

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a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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if you have hair on the palm of your hand you might want to get that checked out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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