Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Gale swallows.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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Chikin nuggets

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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