What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

No

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mother just died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Today is March 22.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

-"Hey! You guys wanna hear a joke" -"What?" -"Womens Rights"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Here isa poem from a dog Roses are gray violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the owl visit the hospital? His mom was dying of luekemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Caucasian American males does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Who is big and stupid My brother

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There's a white guy and a black guy, on a bridge. Of corse the idiot white guy jumps off. But the black guy yells, I NEVER LIKED U!!!!! Later that day the police showed up and asked wat happened. The black guy said, U GOT NO EVIDENCE!!! The police say true and walk away. Then go to Dunkin Donuts and get a triple chocolate donnut and coffee. They lived happily ever after. Except for the white guy. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Ten years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash ... now we have no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops