What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farm he was from was near a road. There was a hole in the fence and the chicken got out. He then started wandering and happened to cross the road.

What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

Whats less comfortable than a metal bench? The trunk of a car when you're being abducted.

It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

i see trees are green, Roses are red, Violets are blue and i think to myself What a Wonderful World

Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

How do u make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face

What is Osama Bin Laden's favourite colour? Doesn't matter. He's dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

Yo momma so fat she should be concerned of contracting Coronary Heart Disease, high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes, abnormal blood fats, metabolic syndrome, cancer, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, or even obesity hypoventilation syndrome

Dear 6, Please stop hitting on me, I heard you've done some pretty dirty stuff with 9. Sincerely, 7

Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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