Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

Why did the blond fall down? She died.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

Pull my finger ouch..

Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...