Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

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Q: How many nuns does it take to eat a dead racoon? A: 2

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Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

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knock knock who's there? dave dave who? dave suddenly burst into tears as his grandmothers altzimers became so serious she forgot his name

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open the presents.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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Why do fishermen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

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knock knock whos there? nobody

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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What group of people do the police target? Criminals.

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A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

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What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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