Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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Shaving your balls is just plain nuts!

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

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What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

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Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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What's do a woman's vagina and a camel's toe have in common? Other than being parts of two mammals, they have nothing in common.

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Poop

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What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops