- Anti Joke

Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

"So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle. This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, just like the humans do. So the wasp enrolls in school, and passes with flying colors. Remember, this is a very smart wasp. He gets his high school diploma in a little under 3 years, with a 4.0 GPA and all that snazz. After high school, believe it or not, the wasp gets accepted to Harvard. Harvard! This too proves to be no challenge for our hero, as he graduates in just two years, again a 4.0, on the Dean's list, and all that snazz. Not to mention all the clubs and sports he was in-the newspaper, rowing, student government-and the fact that he was by far the most popular student on campus. Even his professors looked up to him. He goes on to get two PhDs, and when he finishes his education, the wasp faces a bit of a dilemma. How does he apply his knowledge now? Where does he go from here? He decides to try out politics. After all, he was popular throughout school, did well in Harvard government. So he runs for mayor, and wins in a landslide. He greatly reforms the city, fixing virtually all its major problems. He runs for governor and again wins in a landslide. Two years later, the presidential election was coming up, and the wasp decides he might as well go for it. Of course, he wins in the largest landslide in US presidential history. His presidency goes exceedingly well-he is loved by all parties, and has the highest approval ratings in history. He also finds the cures for cancer, AIDS, and broken hearts while in the White House. After 8 years (yes, of course he was reelected) the time has come for him to leave his office. Even his successor his saddened by the wasp’s departure, but they all know it’s what must be done. Back at his vacation home in California his first day after leaving office, the wasp looks back on his long and fruitful life. He realizes that he hasn't been back to his hive at all since that first day he left. He suddenly feels a twang of guilt as he realizes how much he misses his parents and his little brother. So he heads back to the hive, looking more worn out than he remembers. He goes inside and greets his family, who are overjoyed at the sight of him. He talks about how his life has gone as his family listens in wonderment. Eventually he decides he is thirsty, so he decides to visit the old watering hole he remembered. Once he gets there though, there’s an extremely long line. He decides it’s worth the wait, so gets in line. One hour. Two hours. This is the slowest moving line he’s ever seen! Eventually he calculates that it could be a few days before he gets to the front of the line, so decides it’s not worth it. He decides to go get some cider to drink instead, but waddya know, another huge line of people waiting for cider! He remembers one other drinking area that never had a long line-fruit punch! So he decides to go get punch. He arrives, and lo and behold, there's no punch line."

what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

This guy says: "Doctor doctor, it hurts when I do this!" He jiggles his arm and screames in pain. The doctor replies: "Well, don't do it then!"

why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

What do you call two grown Mexican men playing tennis? Two adults showcasing their talent in a friendly game of tennis.

why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

Why did the blind boy cross the road? Why? The world may never know. He was hit by a bus

What is 5 brittish guys who can't sing and horrible music make .... one direction

how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

What is a slave fighting in a pit of Rome? Just a slave. Who cares?

what is 1 plus 1 i don't know ask your teacher

You're as useful as Baby P's dummy.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

Why did the guy lie down? He was dead.

Okay I have knock knock joke but u have to start it. Okay Knock knock Who's there (akward silence)

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

What's green and blue? yellow

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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