- Anti Joke

A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

FUCK YOU SAY FUCK YOU SAY SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH THATS WHAT I FUCKING SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

What's worse than getting tripped? Getting shot.

how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

So there's this one Cheerio who really likes this frosted Cheerio. He walks up to her one day and asks her out. She responded, "no I only date frosted Cheerios." The Cheerio then went and got a tutor, he became very, very smart and turned into a multi-grain Cheerio. He goes up to the frosted Cheerio and asks her out. "no, you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he gets a gym membership and works really, really hard and becomes and apple cinnamon Cheerio. He asks her out again, "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." so he goes to church too and becomes a honey nut Cheerio. "no you're still not a frosted Cheerio." he focuses and tries even harder than ever before and finally becomes a frosted Cheerio. He asks her out, "will you be my girlfriend? I heard about this party this weekend we can go to." she answers, "I'll be your girlfriend, let's go to that party." So, they go to this party. The boy asks. "do you want anything to drink?" the girl says "sure maybe some wine." the boy en goes to the wine store. There's a super long line and he waits and waits but goes back to the party. He tells her and asks her if she wants anything else. "some soda maybe." he goes to the soda shop and there's another long line and he waits until he can't take it and goes back again. He tells h and asks her if she wants anything else. "some punch please." He goes to the punch store, and there's no punch line.

An American, an Irish man, a Chinese man and a Black man walk in to a Bar, the Bartender takes their order

why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

Knock Knock Whos there? The Police, your mother just died of bowel cancer.

sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

What did the Asian say to the Mexican working at the friutstand? Hi, I'm Asian!

How do you shoot an eagle? You don't. The eagle is going too fast for you.

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.