Q: why was the cat naked? A: its owner was drunk and thought he was shaving his own head.

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knock knock who's there? penis in penis in who? penis in you

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand. QUACK!!!

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so an apple walks into a bar... I'm terrible at making jokes...

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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hey, my names mark.

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when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Me and a pig had sex, beastieality.

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How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

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Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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