Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.

Why are Americans so fat? Poor diet and lack of exercise.

Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

I have an idea! You leave.

How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

jack and jill went up the hill to have a little fun. that dumb ass jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

Sex education in Texas.

An Englishman walks into a bar.

Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

Knock Knock, Whos there? a baby nailed to the wall Orgasim

What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

What's racecar spelled backwards? Jesus.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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