What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

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Q. whats worse then eating a slice of cheese? A. Finding out your mom has a penis

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Where are the first Cannibals in the Bible? A. 2 Corinthians 8:1

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Why did the plane crash Because the pilot was hit in the face with an axe

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How do you survive the end of the world? You can't- everyone will die!

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why does my ass hurt? you have rectal cancer

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A man says to his doctor, "doctor, doctor, I think I have a split personality." The doctor responds, "That makes 4 of us."

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Where did the AIDS victim go on vacation? To the hospital.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being dragged to his death by an 18 wheeler.

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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What's the worst way to die? Alone.

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Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I left my car keys inside.

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Women's Soccer.

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Why couldn't the tractor start? The farmer lost the keys.

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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A lumberjack wearing women's underwear under his clothes walks into a bar. Several Canadian Mounties stand up and surround him, compliment him on his cooking and offer to go looking for some wild flowers for his herb collection.

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whats worse than having no life? having no life and reading internet jokes all day!

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What do you get when you cross a celebrity with drugs? A highly probable circumstance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops