Today, I was thirsty so I got in my kitchen and took a bottle of juice out of my refrigirator, I realised the bottle was empty, so I immediatly took a walk to the store and bought another bottle.

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There was an Englishman a Welshman and a Scotsman, all of whom were nationals of the United Kingdom.

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What did the taxi driver say to the chicken when the chicken called a cab? "aren't you supposed to be crossing a road somewhere?" Little did the taxi driver know that the chickens license was taken away for multiple DUIs because when his wife left him he became an alcoholic mess, lost his job and became depressed. But when he called the taxi, he was on his way to a job interview. Since he never made it to his job interview he soon went broke and lost his home. Having hit rock bottom, the chicken unawarely started to cross a busy road and was ran over by that same taxi driver.

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Your mom is so fat that she has high cholesterol. Moral: I AM NOT CRAZY! Said the man to the dog.

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Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

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A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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whats the differences between an atari and a xbox 360 i don't know i'm not a video game nerd

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BOTTOM!!!

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what did the girl said to the stalker? i dont know cuz if i did, i would be a stalker

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I left my car keys inside.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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Uh, well I think of it as quirky and charming, odd weird, maybe unexpected, I could have looked it up but I am dying of lack of sleep here.

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Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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What's liquid, clear, and tastes like water? H20

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops