How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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You might be a redneck if you're from a rural area and behave as such.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your roommate, I forgot my keys.

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I was gonna make a joke about a my dick... Racecar

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

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What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

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"Knock knock..." "come in"

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What did the Po-Po do to the speeding Mexican? Gave him a ticket.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a bus.

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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The chicken crossed the road.

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who likes to gets to get fisted A) sock puppets

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knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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What is yellow and Bear Grills has drunk on National Television. ...Lemonade.

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Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

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i 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.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ME

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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Why did the rooster die. Because I killed it.

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A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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