Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

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whats worse than speaking with your mouth full? pooing with your mouth full

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Whats brown and sticky? Poop on a warm summers night.

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Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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jibby jobby

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how many couples does it take to screw in a light bulb. 1 the wife to go buy the light bulb and the husbend to put it in.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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Womens Rights. Excist in nearly every country on Earth today.

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Gordon Brown smiles.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Why did little Susie fall off the cliff? I pushed her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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What Do You Call A Black Guy Surrounded By Nine White Guys With Bats? Jackie Robinson.

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When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

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Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

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Getting all F's on your report card isnt that bad.... I mean you could go home to find your whole family murdered and your Girlfriend hanging from a noose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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