how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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The sentence below is an anti-joke.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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Executioner: Would you like to make a statement? Mr Murderer: Yes, I would love to sing a song. Executioner: Very well. Begin. Mr Murderer: There were 6 billion in the bed, and the little one said roll over, roll over. So they all rolled over and one fell out...

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ANTONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

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why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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i Have read and agreed to the terms of service

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David Cameron

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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What's the difference between 15 dead babies and a cadilac? I don't have a cadilac.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

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Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Parkinson's dl;ghd;jgfldsj;foshdgoljdlkfnjslpaoijejknjvnoidnmaokepinjndonfvio

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How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

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What begins with "B" and ends with "N" that you never want to call your neighbor? a Black Person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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