What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

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What did the politician say to the bank robber? "Were both robbers"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

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Water? I hardly know her.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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why can't the bat see? Because it's made of metal

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Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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Knock Knock. Who`s there? The police, your family were killed in a bakery A German bakery.

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What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

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whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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a kid walks into a room and confesses to his mother he is gay the mother then repeatedly beats him until he is bleeding out of both ears then leaves him there to think about what he just said.

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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Ryan O'Sullivan likes to suck his own penis. - Ryan O'Sullivan.

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This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops