A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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whats 2+2 equal? 4

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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Niggas be like you ugly and you playing hard to get, yo ass already hard to want!

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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Mum says therirs ups in life... I have the Downs

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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Why did the litle boy's hat come off? cause he got hit by a train!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being held for random.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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What do you call a black kid with no parents? A black orphan.

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I just drank a cola.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

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What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops