A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

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one time someone wrote an anti-joke, hoping for lots of likes, which give one a sense of validation. nope.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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why did graeme go to olivias house to do fun things

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whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

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why wont our kids have time to socialize? because theyll all be too busy trying to find a solution for global warming.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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What is funnier than the funniest thing in the world? Something funnier than the world!

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Q: What does Chinese look like? A:Chinese

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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