Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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Knock, Knock Who's There? An Orange No Seriously Who Are You?

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Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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How do you know if you have a good slave? It is hard working and determined... And black

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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>>---------------------------------[ knee ]------------------------->>>

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

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what do you get when you combine a vampire,werewolf,and whiny girlfriend ....... the worst show in the history of the earth

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What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

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What did Dave tell me on Tuesday? "It's Wednesday, dumbass."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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