You know what it means when a priest lays his watch down on a podium? Absolutely nothing

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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The man was driving down the road at an opropriat speed and got t-boned. The women in the other car got out and tried to help the man but the man was already out of the car and call 911

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Someone clearly messed up on naming the flower. Violet is synonymous with purple, Which is obviously NOT blue; It's the mixture between blue and red.

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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knowone loved me why???????????????????????? because they were so damm ugly

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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a man walks into the bar and say, OUCH!!

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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One man said to another, "Hey, can you hear that?" "No." He replied.

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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No!

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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why was the clown sad? because his wife left him

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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A black guy walks into a basketball court.

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

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why did the chinken cross the rode? why? to get to the gay persons house. Knock, Knock. Who's there. the chicken.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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