Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

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A black man got sentenced go prison for stealing a car. He didn't do it.

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I Raped And Killed A Little Girl Called Zoe. It All Started When I Raped A Girl In Her School, I Always Waited Outside Of Her School in my white van, one day the girl I raped before Zoe confronted me in my white van, I asked her if she wanted to see my puppies in the back of the van, she said yes, I locked her in there, I kidnapped her. The next day that girl Mysteriously Died. Iwonder how? Tee hee hee... The next day Zoe came up to my van, She also said yes about the puppies too! I kidnapped her and raped her. The next day I was rushed to hospital, I was revealed by the doctor I Had Been Diagnosed With HIV, I knew it was from her because she is the only girl I'd raped, So I walked home. When I Was Walking Home, I Was Thinking About How Angry I Was With That Lil' Bitch; I Was Thinking of ways to kill her, when I got home I heard her listen to; Bang Bang~ By Ariana Grande, Nikki Minaj And Jessie J. That Got Me thinking, Ah, that's how I am going to kill her. So I opened my cage and Got my gun out; I killed her. Blood Was Dripping Down from her head, I Grabbed the corpse and put It in my basement, after that I started licking her fanny, Drinking Her pussy juice. Then I drained all of her Blood out of her body and bottled it. After all the draining I had 600,000 Bottles. I Drunk one of them. and may I just say: it was delicious! After that, I went online and sold all the bottles to I.Am.A.Vampire.Com For £1million Pounds!! Man is now mega rich and I brought a slut and fucked her. I Now lift a fucking amazing life because of a vulnerable, Dumb Ass girl called Zoe. Thank you!!!!!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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Girl you must be Jamaican...because you're black and annoying.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

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If Life Throws You Melons, Then You're Probably Dyslexic. -S.H.A.T Brother 2Flush

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

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A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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what is juicy and smells like juice,but it is not juice? juice. i lied about it not being juice.

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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Ask me If I am an orange? Are you and Orange? No

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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