what do you call a kid in a wheelchair? . handicapped.

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A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

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Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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One man was interested in purchasing poultry. He found it was as very wise investment in that he enjoyed the resulting pleasure immensely.

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Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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Why did the Jewish man commit suicide? Because he was not happy with his life.

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem used for seasoning food, and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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Whats fat yellow and diabetic Brett lai lan

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I forgot my joke about gamblers, but i bet you would have loved it!

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What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to use a female name.

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True or false , is it hotter in the summer or in the city? False, because blue monkeys don't eat orangutan bones.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops