how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

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What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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Penis.

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i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

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what do you call a dead arab? a suicide bomber

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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Your d is so small that when you had a boner and walked into the wall....... YOU BROKE YOUR NOSE! Millimeter Monster bro

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STFU Stop Tickling Fuzzy Unicorns they really don't like it

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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What's weird about four black men in a toilet? No one got shot.

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oh my god! what? i heard this joke the other day and it was hilarious. ok, tell me? actually it doesn't matter i can't remember anyway.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings? whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 bee stings? No! The holicost Whats worse than the holicost? What? 3 Bee stings

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roses are red violets are blue no seriously they are

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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