What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

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wetly sucks dick just like teh boowb

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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A black man goes to his dentist appointment and the doctor asks, have you brushed your teeth today laderius? the black man replies: Yes, but my name is not laderius

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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"I saw daddy with mommy last night. I think he was stealing my milk."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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Why didn't Suzie go to the park? She commited suicide 2 years ago.

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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one day i went on a swing, somone pushed me and i fell broke my leg,cracked three ribs, cut my lip, fractured my toe and died of internal bleeding to my brain.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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