what do you do if you see a black man covered in hot greece on the floor of the bus shelter? call an ambulance...

Do you know why i dont write poems Because i thought that violets were violets OTARTS...WAS...HERE

The WPGA tour

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

Penis.

A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

Why did little john fall off his bike? Somebody threw microwave oven at him.

Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

Knock Knock Who's there? ........

What's white on top and black on bottom? Society.

What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

A man sets his house on fire. His wife comes home, what did she ask? Why'd you set the house on fire?

Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

A redundant man walked into a bar. He sat down, and unfortunately, we learn 5 minutes later that his wife died.

Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

Your in Thailand on a Elephant ride... at the end you jump off but uncle jack is still on the elephant and the elephant wont let him off.... Do you help your uncle, Jack off the elephant?

Knock knock. Come right on in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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