Where does a king keep his armies? In his sleevies

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I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

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What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

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Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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What is hitlers favorite planet: jewpiter

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A white man walks into a bar. Then he gets a beer.

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question: do zombies eat brains answer: actually zombies don't exist, so they don't eat anything

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Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

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A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

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quinn knows four other quinns but he ruined my life so he tells me to stop because im ruining this website but i disagree and now he is trying to tell me a joke and im not listening he is still trying but i don't care because i hate him,

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

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That was slightly painful. I would appreciate it if you would stop such actions in the future

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what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

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Jews

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops