what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

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whats worse then being a black kid with out a father? is not that bad it happens all the time

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Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

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God is like semen. They're both nouns.

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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Knock knock. Why are you saying that, you should actually knock the door. Oh ok.

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

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noah is a scrub jungle

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops