What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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WHATS THE BEST AVENUE TIN SHACK AVENUE

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? I don't know. The woodchuck won't chuck wood.

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

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What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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A man walked into doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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Smoke weed till i die nigga

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how to you confuse a blonde you ask her to recit the alphahbet back words

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What's better than being raped by a donkey? Pie.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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why did mad is on home s walk becuaes a isnt a number

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I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What ever happened to the bartender that asked, "Why the long face?" He was punched hard on the face for asking a stupid cliche!

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What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

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What's worse than Gordon Brown's face? George Bush.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like listening to good music. Looks like you need "The Cure" to help with this.

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Dog walks into a bar Asked for a hard cider Got it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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