What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock Knock Who's there? no one, you've got Psycosis

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What is black and has no education A tire.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you confuse a blonde? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Your Mother

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a black man on a bike? Environmentally friendly.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why does paul mccartney not wear shoes? cause a nigga stole it

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

everyone lies especially if they said agree to terms of service

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I feel like making a good joke.But i cant. YN

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's similar between a yellow bicycle and blue potatoes? They both have weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Jesse is so fat, his weight on his scale says " hahaha gotta love childhood obesity"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

thumb_up thumb_down -28

"Hey hey hey, did you hear the joke about the guy with terminal cancer?" "No." "Sorry to break it to you then."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because the mas of the ice-cream gathered up enough potential energy to increase the velocity of said ice cream making a mess on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock-Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are u crying?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops