What do you get when you cross a Fish and a Duck? A Dish

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Dude, i know this guy, who knew this guy named Ben, who knew this guy named Valen, who knew this guy named Chad and he said.... Ben's Dead.

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A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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The audience was ready, the stage was set, as soon as the show ended, the actors applauded towards the audience shouting ENCORE! The audience paid and went home, then they suddenly went... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO!? They cared so much about one another, that they wanted to fall in love with each other. Now that is true love that is not love people! Nerometal (Ironically my name is Nero, I bet the Neronism guys name is Dwayne Maskdork or something, seriously...)

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People, so yeah Nero7 is alive, but for the first time in history this site is crashing because too many are posting questions here, so I will try answering some for you, the name is Joker2 and I am one of the administrators at point zero. Nero7 is alive and, according to himself well, but physically he can barely walk and stutters in pain, and yes we are six million followers in total. Otherwise his condition is stable, and no, he is not dying in six years (because) that is also part of the coding you will need to access our site (it might have sounded a bit too dramatic in order for some of you to understand its part of the code) Do not post questions or comments regarding our activity on any other section, we do not want that kind of attention, so stop it or we will have to cut you off, Nero can and will answer questions, but please one at the time, its clogging this crappy server, besides Nero can only answer one person at the time as far as I am aware off.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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human centipede

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Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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how do women get from the kitchen to the bedroom? they walk there.

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Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

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Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

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I own two ferrets. I was merely stating something factual.

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Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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