Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: How many ghetto people does it take to carry a fat gorilla? A: 14

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I was so fat I went on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Need For Speed 30025 DRIVE OVER 60000 EXTREME CARS OVER 60 BILLION REAL LIFE GRAPHICS TRACKS! WHILE LISTENING TO BULLSHIT SONGS THAT MAKE YOU CRY! NO PAUSE BUTTON! EVERY CAR MUST BE UNLOCKED BY PLAYING THE SAME TRACK (Yeah music track too) OVER AND OVER AGAIN! OVER 6000000 ONLINE GAMERS AT THE SAME TIME WORLDWIDE, EACH TRACK HAS 5000000 THOUSAND LAPS SO THE FUN NEVER ENDS! UNLOCK ALL STUFF DLC: 6000 Bucks. Moral: So I have not been here since I called myself the sociopath or something, who the fuck are these Nero`s and Neronism and all that fuck? :( They almost improved my reputation! THATS HORRIBLE!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How does the black, high school kid get his new clothes, IPod and nikes? By working at his family-owned convenient store with his father and grandfather every night after school, but not until his homework is done.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the woman cross the road? Trick question, she didn't because she was in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a Black man sweeping the floor? A janitor.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A duck walks into a bar "Can I have some brandy, please" says the duck The bartender then proceeds to make millions because he was the first to discover a talking duck

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

thumb_up thumb_down -20

-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A black guy walks into a resturaunt. he finishes his drink, graciously tips the bartender and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is the last bit of snow to fall from the sky called? Nothing. Meteorologists have not come up with a scientific term for this phenomenon.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? F*cking midgets

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops