Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

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3 like an eel

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A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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hi mom

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No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

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How you know when dislextic

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Why is Henrik so AWESOME? Cos HE just IS!!!!

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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How do you create an antijoke? Story written by Danny and Patrick

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what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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