Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of excess velocity.

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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Why did Lisa spill her drink? Her plane crashed.

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irish man drinking john smiths

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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KEVIN CRUMMY SMELLS LIKE SARAHS (I)

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What's puby and dandruffy? Aodhan Hearty

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A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

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A plumber walks into a bar and the bartender says "What will it be?" and the plumber says "no drinks thank you, I'm here to fix the toilet."

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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Whats Bin Laden's favorite store 9/11

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Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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nolan is gay

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You come home and find your family dead. What do you do? Take a picture, post it on facebook

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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Why can't kids do drugs in school? Because it's against the rules.

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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What do you get when you cross a Fish and a Duck? A Dish

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Yo mama is so fat, Dora couldn't explore her. Yo mama is so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super bowl. Yo mama so hairy, Bigfoot took her picture and screamed he was gonna be a millionare.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are simple-minded creatures and perhaps there was some source of food on the other side.

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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who else is on here?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops