What do you call an african american child that hasn't eaten in a week? hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory? A: It's hard to say. HR can not discuss the details of her termination, and the blonde signed a non-discloure agreement. She has since relocated to Biloxi with her family and is doing quit well.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There is something fishy about.... the fish curry at home

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened when the blind man was running toward a cliff. He stopped before he fell.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

thumb_up thumb_down -15

http://citizenmcgeedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/borat-banana-hammock.jpg?w=300

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue you smaell funny just like my poo! this came from the BOTTOM of our hearts!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't the Asian man satisfy a woman? He was in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse then the Boston bombing? The Texas bombing, considering Texas is a much bigger region then Boston.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Jew walks on his way to work. He does not notice the quarter lying on the sidewalk and did not care for the dollar lying on the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats worse then hell? The guy who commited suicide would know.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub. One said to the other, "Could you pass the saop?". The other say, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?".

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops