What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

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Happy Monday!

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What's the difference between a car tyre and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear. The others a fucking great year!!! San2

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Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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What's up? Not the Twin Towers.

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

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The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops