A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

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This site has ads. and so does every other free site

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Why did the blind man walk into a shop He didin't walked into a wall

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Did you know diarrhoea is genetic? It is a side effect of Polycystic Kidney Disease.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Downs Syndrome... and a ding-dong potato

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Somebody else besides you: what time is it? You: what time is what? SOmebody else: ? What?

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What do you call a deer with no legs? Legs in the City

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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NASCAR

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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Roses are red, Because they can intrinsically change color through natural dyes.

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A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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how many niggaz dose it take to fit in al lightbolb?? 36 ahahahh yall deez nutz

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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what do santa clause and a blueberry have in common they both have beards....except the blueberry

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what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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