Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they work hard at it

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Question: how many times a power rangers episode show a power rangets face ANSWER: dont ask me im not that big of a power rangers!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but it nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

squash squash who squash my ass

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What the the newly born male dog get for his first birthday? A loss of two testicles.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How much seamen does a gay guy have??? A whole butt load.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you know diarrhoea is genetic? It is a side effect of Polycystic Kidney Disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

NASCAR

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are red violets are blue i have Downs Syndrome... and a ding-dong potato

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops