While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the man die? Because he was robbing a bank and police used lethal weapons By- the duck

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

thumb_up thumb_down -17

So a man walks into a bar and gets a drink, then a man walks up to him and tries to start a fight, the first man says, "No thanks" and walks home.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I hi Jacked your car And killed your family

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why was the hobo sad his box was confiscated

thumb_up thumb_down -19

- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's short and weak and has no life..........a Jordan pederson!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair because hair color varies depending on genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

LO AND BEHOLD!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's harder than killing a baby? My penis while doing it. by: Lucky7 LG

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops